Safe and Sound
by Laylinka
Summary: Amy approaches the Doctor about his speech to her at the end of The God Complex. She didn't believe he was vain and wanted to be adored, but still he made her doubt him and now he wants to save her and Rory by leaving them behind. Re-posted for a few added details and a different ending. ;)


Started: May 2014

Finished: May 2014

Amy lie in bed awake, her mind troubled by what the Doctor had said to her earlier that she couldn't sleep. Deciding she had to talk about it, she got up to look for him. Entering the console room she found it empty. She walked slowly around the console floor gazing up at his extraordinary ship. Taking in the details and warm orange hue, the soft hum and the quiet. A short glimmer of a terrible thought entered her mind, a thought of someday, somehow never seeing this place again. The ship was epic and proven close to indestructible with its sentience and the ability to reconstruct and repair itself. Perhaps one day the ship would be no more but not in her lifetime. She couldn't see her life with out it. She suddenly wondered if they had landed or if they where out in space. So she walked over to the door to take a peek outside. Her hand touched the door.

"Where are you going?" said the voice of her Raggedy Man. She turned.

"I was looking for you."

"You where going to look for me on an alien planet?" He folded his arms. "What have I told you about wondering off? You should be in bed."

"No I wasn't going to go look for you. I was just having a look see."

"Oh good, carry on and then off to bed with you."

"Can I talk to you?" she asked. She started walking towards him. He pretended to be busy at the console, already knowing what she wanted to talk to him about.

"Can you? I don't know. You have tried Rory; did you try to talk to him first?"

"Rory, Why?" she asked confused and frustrated. Why must the Doctor bring up Rory when she wants to talk to him? "Rory doesn't have anything do with this."

"He doesn't?" he said doubtfully.

"No, it's about me and you and what you said in the motel room when that Space Minotaur was coming for us. You said brought me with you because you're vain and want to be adored."

"Don't we all want to be liked and loved? And you know I'm not one for modestly," he stated with out looking at her.

"You're not one to do things just so someone will like you. You're not one who wants to be adored," she said as a matter of fact. "There are hundreds of worlds that would worship you as a God, but you don't want them too. I wanted to tell you that Doctor, that in all your speech, I never bought into that, not for one second. So what if you're not modest. You're the cleverest man I know. The kindest and the wisest.-" he put his finger to her lips.

"Stop," he said softly but seriously. "I'm busy. Now go to bed."

"No, don't shush me, hear me out." She took his hand and held it in hers. "And your Gallifrayian mind trick telling me not to trust you didn't leave a lasting impression."

"It wasn't a trick, it was the truth," he said slowly pulling his hand out of hers, and stepping away from her.

"Nothing of what you told me in that room was the truth," she said, her eyes narrowing. "It was really strange though, I never once lost faith in the 12 years I waited for you. And when you returned, it just grew with each passing adventure. You're a good man, a great man. I don't know how you managed to make me doubt you."

"Again, I just told you the truth," he stated frustrated, regretfully, sadly. "I won't always be able to save you."

"You don't know that."

"It's as I said, I know that will happen."

"I don't believe it and I can't. In fact, I feel truly guilty for having had doubted you. I feel like I disgraced you, dishonored you, when ever since you came back you been asking that I trust you." That got his attention.

"Never, listen to me," he took her face between his hands, "never have you disgraced or dishonored me. I feel proud, do you hear me, proud and privileged to have had you by my side."

"W- what do you mean had?" she asked suddenly growing apprehensive. He sighed.

"I should take you home so you can live your life with Rory."

"Why?" she asked growing sad.

"Because you're still breathing."

"Don't,"

"What's the alternative, me standing your grave?" She placed her hands on the side of his face as well, tears falling.

"Then I would've lived an extraordinary life, the one with my two boys that I need like I need air."

"Oh Amelia." He embraced her and held her for a long time. He didn't know what to tell her. She had him for a loss. Except for the fact that he'd never forgive himself if she was in his care and something happened to her. He pulled away from a reluctant Amy. "I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone. I'm not as strong as I pretend to be. I'm many good things but, it's hard for me to see it to the end and I can't. I'm nothing short of ashamed that I am this way."

"So that's it then? When you leave, it has to be on your own terms? That's rubbish."

"I'm sorry."

"You can't, it's not fair."

"You should go home and have a happy life with your husband while you still can. When Rory died after the encounter with the Silurians, he was eaten up by the time energy. You where devastated upon seeing this and wanted to join him. I being selfish, dragged you away in my TARDIS because I couldn't see loosing you too. There's no way anyone who truly cares about you would force you to live with out the one you love, even if you would eventually forget. It's cruel."

"But you do care about me, you do, you're not making any sense."

"I have to let you go. It's the right thing to do, to save you."

"It's rubbish Doctor and I'll tell you why. The incident with the Dream Lord, when Rory died, you allowed me to make the decision to die with him."

"Listen to you, excusing the fact that both of you have already died to confirm your faith in me, to say that you still want to remain in my care. Do you realize how many times your husband has died because of me?" He took her by the shoulders and shook her. "Seven times, do you hear what I'm telling you? Seven times!" And you, you got killed or disappeared from history five times. Can you fathom what it does to me when someone gets hurt especially someone I love? Just," he stopped to catch his breath. "Give me the piece of mind that you'll be here happy and safe, please."

"I could argue that the safest place is actually beside you." He put his finger up with a look of warning on his face. She smiled a little and embraced him. "Ok, ok I understand," she said barely above a whisper. He held her tight, happy she understood. He hugged her even tighter, reluctant at being a step closer to being alone again. "Visit, then please," she said into his collar, "at least visit. I don't want something to happen to you and I'll be left wondering if you're ok."

"Ok, I'll visit, I promise."

"Will you really?"

"If I held you any tighter, you'd break in half. If I hold you any longer, I might change my mind. Of course I'll visit." At those words, a fresh batch of tears flowed down her cheeks but they where tears of relief. He buried his face in her neck and took a deep breath. The scent of her, holding back the onslaught of loneliness that was sure to come. "Look after him," he said. She took a few deep breathes and pulled away to look at him.

"Look after you," she said. He nodded started to loosen his embrace. She leaned up and kissed his forehead. He gave her a sad smile, a trying to be happy smile but close to becoming completely undone. He gave her one last squeeze and let go. She turned to go back to bed but looked back. She took a few steps and turned to look back again. He looked up discretely. She took a deep breath. She turned again and walked towards the door. Suddenly, she turned around, leaned against the doorway and folded her arms. "I'm not going to be able to sleep," she announced. He looked up then hesitantly walked toward her. He stood in front of her, arms folded, looking down at her sadly.

"Don't just tell me to go to bed. Don't OK? I couldn't sleep before and now…this. Couldn't I just watch you, be amazing?" He quietly listened and then whispered;

"You're really trying my resolve Amy."

"I don't mean to." He looked into her eyes full of innocents.

"I have a better idea. Or worse, a much, much worse idea." He gave her his hand with a sad smile.

"Come with me." She took his hand and followed believing that this likely will be the last time her Doctor asks her to go anywhere with him.

A/N: I posted this a few days ago then realized that it starts out in the TARDIS and somehow ends like they are in the street saying good bye. I wanted to write a scene encompassing dialogue that could be from both scenes but decided to have it take place on the TARDIS exclusively, like the night before he drops them off. And one thing lead to another and she obviously couldn't sleep with the new knowledge of him taking her home and leaving which leads to him whisking her off mysteriously somewhere into the TARDIS.


End file.
